Hiram College

This is a poem created in the interdisciplinary course: “Exploring Ability and Disability Through Performance: Autism Spectrum Disorders” taught by Assistant Professor, Amber Chenoweth and Assistant Director of Strategic Academic Initiatives and Study Away Coordinator, Brittany Jackson ’04, M.A. ‘15. Students were asked to read a scientific article and then write a creative piece as a reflection of the article. 

This poem was inspired by “Depression in mothers and fathers of children with intellectual disability” in the Journal of Intellectual Disability Research.

Parental Depression

By:  Tierra Moore ‘16

I need to be a mother, but I have seemed to fail
My child is not like me but no one knows what that entails.
I love my son more than the stars in the sky
But I have lost my shine
And I know I am no longer fine.
I want nothing more than to hug him
And for he to love me back
But that will never happen, for that I will always lack.
My husband does not share this emotion that I have had
He laughs with him and reads with him
He is such a perfect dad
I want to be more like him and accept my sons for him
There are so many stigmas
And all eyes end up on me
My son is more than an enigma
But the thoughts of ignorant people, come flying back at me
I need to get away, this pain is just too much
But the thought of losing both of them would hurt I have a hunch
I told my doctor my self worth
He prescribed me meds to smile
He told me not to stress so much
If only I could be more versatile
I could be the mother my son needs
And not constantly want to flee